Bridgerton Season 4 - *SPOILER ALERT*

 

With much going on in the world, sometimes you need a fantasy break and happy endings, right?

For those unfamiliar with the premise, it takes takes place in the early 19th century, from an original very real, very true situation, in which Queen Charlotte - who curiously had darker skin (increasingly painted "whiter" with each royal portrait) and stereotypically African features and hair - married King George the III of England. 

Because of these features - particularly her hair - her lineage was, at the time, attributed to everything it likely was not -  such as "Portuguese" (once the shipping post for slavery) and "Moorish."

Regardless, theirs was apparently a true love match, with Queen Charlotte being a doting wife, personally responsible for his care, until his death. 

With George III's descent into mental illness - believed to be some combination of genetic disorder (porphyria) and bipolar disorder (permanently in mania by 1810 and nothing to treat him with), Queen Charlotte briefly and unofficially ruled and held court in her husband's stead until their son son came of age.

She particularly kept social festivities afloat to both keep morale high and hide the extent of her husband's decline.

The rest of the story is, of course, the fantasy, a "what if" of sorts, in which due to Queen Charlotte, people of all races were then accepted into aristocracy and even royalty (and yet rigid class and gender roles remain).

Each season stays true to the books by Julia Quinn, which focuses on a different Bridgerton child's debut into society and marrietal choices. 

It highlights the difficult positions that especially intelligent women were put in, in addition to the delicate balance between social class, family "breeding," and rigid gender roles.

But perhaps more interestingly, there's also lots of sex. Lots and lots of sex!

This season, though Benedict Bridgerton was my least favorite son. he grew on me to perhaps become my favorite.

And yet still, nobody rocks the early 19th century, Beau-Brummel-style cravat, vest, and coat and tails quite like the original Duke!

(Although Anthony Bridgerton is a close second - played by People Magazine's 2025 Sexiest Man Alive, Jonathan Bailey)

Okay, maybe tied with second with King George III in the Bridgerton spinoff "Queen Charlotte"

Want to make a woman swoon?

Wear any of that.

(Minus any late-18th century powdered wigs still hanging around, thank you - which were mostly out of fashion by the early 1800s anyway, except for servants and legislature.)

When a man is dressed like this, even a man in a modern military uniform falls to the wayside, because there is nothing sexier on men!

When men complain of women not wearing dresses much anymore, the perfect response is "Why don't you men wear a neck cravat, high-collared shirt, coat and tails, and boots anymore?

And the answer to both questions is - nobody has the time or money for that daily, anymore, and they're not seasonable, comfortable, or practical!

So when women or men dress for weddings, awards ceremonies or cotillions, savor it, it's a rare treat (and takes hours no one has anymore, especially women)!

Now - I have to admit, in the very first episode of this season, I was like "Oh no, instead of an original story, they're doing Cinderella."

But that actually turned out not to be a bad thing, with a twist.

However, I did say "You're a smart girl, why did you believe your stepmother when she said your father left you nothing?" 

I think the answer to that is what an abused child will believe from their abuser for far too long.

We all love it when truth is finally revealed, right? 

In fact, speaking of the above, I was reminded of a personal situation, one in which my late friend and spiritual mom's son, used to call me "Cinderella," when living with them during the last recession.

Upon asking why, he said "Because that's your story, in a way - lies over a will meant to erase you from history, mean mom, 2 sisters -  the older one is a monster, the younger one is sometimes nice, but still cow-tows to the others - and Cinderella, treated badly for being different. In fact, when that Christian song "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman, came out - which is actually about the father getting one last dance his daughter at her wedding," Mom and I simultaneously thought of you, for some reason.  I think that was from God. So just imagine that your Dad is God in that song, and you're good?"

How sweet is that, right?

I teared up and laughed at the same time, which there is no word for, but it's one of the best emotions, right?

I'd never thought of things that way or myself that way, but I got it and appreciated it.

I just said "Yeah, but those were her stepmom and stepsisters, and these are my real mom and sisters, my Dad was no better, and I'm clearly no Cinderella lol.

Then his mom came in and shushed him for telling him that, because she was still semi-friends with my mom and tried very hard to never say anything bad about her directly to me (except one time, not long before she died). 

That was Marian and her youngest son - they thought in metaphors. 😢

(Miss you< Marian, every day.) 

Thus, I confess, I teared up with that memory and the way this season ended, truth revealed, justice served quietly, and yet no one was truly hurt, despite what they'd done.

If only real life were like any of this, yes?

If the truth ever does come out, never in such grand fashion, and those who told, perpetuated, or believe  lies will never admit.

And yet we keep hope alive :)

And let's not forget Queen Charlotte.

How much do we love Queen Charlotte?

What a character! That combination of commanding regality with a quirky laugh, intelligence and petulance, with a dash of a romantic heart ... 

And let's not forget her best friend/former Lady in Waiting, Lady Danbury (Adjoa Anjoh), the community glue, who not only can handle the prickly Queen adeptly, but simultaneously solve all  her society's problems, and is the show's heart (we will miss her next season). 

And last but not least, the most interesting question that remains now is -  who is the new secret Lady Whistledown?

My bet is either on Eloise (who's had a slight change of heart towards love/marriage) or Cressida, back in town, who falsely claimed to be her in a desperate grasp to obtain the Queen's "diamond" favor last season (because during her time away, she had become a reader and more of a thinker and slightly humbled, despite still possessing terrible Pepto-Bismol pink taste.)

Of course it could also be the late John's sister, who  appeared to leave in the middle of the night, someone we've not yet met - we shall see!

In the meantime, which Bridgerton child or show character are you?

I'd say I'm an Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington-Bridgerton mix, for sure, with a dash of Daphne Bridgerton. 😊

Attack on Iran ...

 

I'm still reading about all the whys and whos, so I need to know more before I comment on the situation much, but here's what I DO know, based on history ...

1. Regardless of which political party is in charge, nor what our government says, we are never told the entire truth about the actual goal of these things and who it actually benefits.  

Many times, that's understandable - reasons of national security or not to cause panic. Other times it is simple greed, power/control grabs for governments or large business. Sometimes it's both.  

(Let's just say with the greed/power lust of who's in charge, my bet is on the control/power/greed angle mostly being at play here in some way). 

 

Regardless, you can bet that no matter what atrocities and propaganda you hear about to justify it, real or fabricated, it's actually 100% about oil and real estate - specifically,  control of the Strait of Hormuz - almost all oil in the Middle East must pass through this strait. (And in Trump's case, the Gazas strip as well.)

2. You cannot, in a modern world, literally drop a bomb on a country (who hasn't attacked you first), then walk away - telling its war-torn people (now without medical care at all)  that "they're free" to fend for themselves and "find their own leader." 

If you're not going to govern it yourself, then you must support some faction or leadership waiting in the wings - because not doing will likely result in leaving the country wide open for even more ruthless militant leadership, i.e., the Taliban or worse.  

It becomes fractionated, with de facto governments everywhere, infighting each other to the death for control.  

That is why our troops stayed in Europe after WW2, and in modern day, Afghanistan and Iraq for as long as they did, to help them stabilize and find their own government while trying to rebuild themselves (and the Taliban did indeed take over anyway, after we left).

Maybe that's what Trump wants, for them to do themselves in with infighting - but destabilizing a country by violent force into chaos, then walking away, telling people to fend for themselves, is NOT freedom - it's leaving them to die.

Like I said, I'm still reading what we know, but it at least appears very impulsive and short-sighted.

Speaking of the Taliban, Iran may have no choice but to turn to 

And don't forget, historically, Palestinian people never forget a wrong, they never just let things go, they bide their time and will seek their revenge when we least expect it -  and not just in Iran or even confined to the Middle East. 

How Owning Pugs Becomes Your Identity ... 😂

I just now saw this POV video of Doug the Pug's Owner, Leslie Mosier, about how pug parents are a special breed in our own right, whether your pug is famous or not, they become part of your identity - people start to refer to you as "my friend with the pug" or "the pug lady" - and this is exactly what it's like when you visit us! 😂

 

(Except for the anal gland thing?!?)

Pug mugs, pug Christmas tree ornaments, all of that!

And yes - just like she said, they don't know personal space and I haven't peed alone in years! 😊

Pugs were originally bred in China to be lapdogs and personal protectors to the imperial families, so they will patiently sit with you while you cook, shower (if not in the shower with you), in the bathroom, and even outside when it's 2 below because you need a smoke (not that I do that or anything - *gulp* - he gets upset if I don't let him out with me, though, so I wrap him up! Spoiled, spoiled.)

Not only that, but Mark said Leslie and my quirky personalities are so alike, it's uncanny - to include a lamb toy and a little song about it, except mine goes "Lambie, Lambie friennnnnd" instead of "Lambie, Lambie, Lambie Lamb"  - with a hard "b" - and I, too, intentionally laugh maniacally/crazy, just for a laugh or reaction! 😂

Both Ziggy and Mark are used to this, though, and just shake their heads and walk away lol. 

Well, sometimes Mark laughs - mission accomplished!

FYI, all of his toys have names, and his favorites have special songs to go with them -  and if you ask him to get that toy by name, he goes and finds it and brings it to you! 

I'd show you a pictures, but he's had them since puppyhood and some of them are reduced to matted furballs now (which I've washed many times, which only makes the matting worse), but I cannot get rid of them, because he will look for them and cry (I've tried) lol. 

His favorites are, in no particular order (except the ones without songs are first):

Placido Domingo Flamingo - "Placido Domingo Flamingo (bop bop bop), Placido Domingo, Flamingo (bop bop bop), Placido Domingo (Bop, Bop, Bop), Placido Domingo FlahhhhmingohOHoh!"

Dancing Lemur  - "Lemur, lemur, dancing all aroundddd, lemur, lemur, dancing into town"

Giddyup Horsie  - "Ride 'em, Ride 'em Cowboy, giddyup, little pugboyyyy!" (That one I stole the tune from a prior toy.)

"Racoonie, RacoonieeeeEEEEE"

And last but not least, "Farty Gautier."

Okay, that one needs an explanation!  😂

So he's a large goat that's supposed to squeak when squeezed, but sometimes instead of a squeak, out comes a long "pffft" of air ... thus, Farty Gautier (Goat-ie-yay)!  😂😂😂

And we have 1,000 different names for Ziggy, and he knows each one means him, like Guggaboy ("Good good boy", smashed together), Joy Boy, Bebe (From Schitt's Creek), "Puh Pbuh "(A play on "baby,") "Sunshine Boy,"  and Pugnacious Iglesias! 😂

We also like to insert the word "pug" into everything, from the mundane like ... "See you in the pug morning!" and "pugtastic" and "pugnificient" and "Merry Pugmas," to a bit more exalted, like "A pugophony of barking."  😂

If I'm known as "my friend with the pug" or "the pug lady," fine by me!  

Pugs are little clowns that make you laugh at least once, every day, if not more - pure joy 

Ziggy Watching Alysa Liu Skate ...

  

So I noticed the other day that when I put the Alysa Liu video on, Ziggy pug stopped what he was doing to watch her, tilting his head, fully engaged.

It seems this phenomenon happens every time I put her on, he's fascinated!

One he hears the music starts, he runs over to it and watching every second!

I think he's like "Wait, Mommy doesn't do that?!?"

No, Mommy definitely cannot  😂

 

 PS - Hope you can see it. Because after I published it, I received an email that some countries can't view it, it's a rights thing. 

I tried changing the title without the last name, but it's still partially blocked. 

Dang, people can put whatever dastardly, horrible thing they want on YouTube, but put your dog watching the Olympics and B'God, the sky is falling. 😂

All about that money, honey - which doesn't even to the athletes themselves, but to the media companies broadcasting it. 

Unlike college and pro sports now, I thought the Olympic Committee  didn't own the rights to athletes' image and likeness, but  I could be wrong - and whatever.

Grrrr ... 

Finally Had Time to Watch Alysa Liu's Final Skate ...

I felt like I was watching her practice alone in an empty arena, she was so casual and effortless about it, like she didn't care about the outcome, just in love with the feeling of being on that ice and what she can accomplish on it.

Absolutely flawless performance, simply amazing ... 

 

My favorite element of ice-skating isn't the jumps so much as the spins - specifically, the layback spin that kind of morphs into the upright or "scratch" spin, so elegant - they look like spinning ballerinas in a music box.

(Although her jumps were perfectly executed as well.)

Here, at 4 minutes, Alysa kind of melds one into the other, then ends the spin in the very difficult Biellmann spin (one leg held over her head by either one or both hands while spinning)!

You know they're done well when it makes every girl watching, young or old, want to skate, too  😊

(Except it's not as effortless as Alysa makes it look!)

Though it's normal to hesitate a half-second before a big jump to get  into position, some skaters hesitate too long in setting up for the jumps, you can literally see them drop everything setting up in anticipation of them like "Okay, big jump coming" -  but not Alyssa - her transitions were so quick it appeared seamless.

As much as I love, love, LOVE Johnny Weir, IMO, this is why he didn't medal in the Olympics. Although he is an incredibly skilled skater, with a beautiful artistic  design concept - and no one is better at creating an ambience/mood when they skate -  you could still see him hesitate and "drop the show" for too long in anticipation of his jumps. 

(Not that I could've ever done any of this on my best day, just saying those that hesitate a few seconds longer before jumps tend not to medal.)

Alyssa gets the details right AND the big picture show, which is why she won gold!

I didn't know her story at all until after I watched this video, but I could feel it in her skate before I read it.

So her father came to the U.S. in asylum after the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests, and claims that the Chinese Government has continued to stalk him - and his daughter - for years, both to try to  both reclaim him and claim her, as their talent.

Not sure what all went on there, but what is for certain is that her father really kind of pushed her into skating as a Michelle Kwan fan himself, and she fell out of love with it, especially during and after COVID, unable to practice and compete, on the cusp of age groups to compete when figure skating returned.

She also broke her hip a few years ago. 

Then in 2022, she retired from skating, just to have a "normal" life, but decided to return, now on her terms, making her own choices for coaches and routines - no longer skating for her father or to obtain medals for herself or country - but now, just for love of the sport.

Skating on her terms took the pressure off - and it shows in her skating, her relaxed, "for the love of skating" style of performance. 

She's also got this adorable mix of innocence and wild child in appearance and personality, which I personally love.

Brava, Alysa!  

You make us proud to be American again (and it's been a long time).

School Discussion Assignment, Part 3 - Contraception and HRT

So after posting my post, a fellow student shared her own horror story, which was way worse.

This is not the first horror story I've heard regarding the confusion on this subject and won't be the last until we nail it down with research.

I'm not gonna share her story, of course, but my reply:

Oh no, XXX! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I think that especially with minors, it's imperative to explain everything in detail, the risks and benefits, so they know what they're getting into, but it sounds like that didn't happen.

I guess I could understand somewhat if it's like a general practitioner, like Internal Med or Family Med provider, but OB/GYN people who specialize in this should present it all and let you choose, and realize that some people aren't going to respond the "stereotypical" way and that should be taken more seriously.

It's like confirmation bias that was discussed in the book, right? The tendency for people - including doctors - to push away anything that doesn't support what they already want to believe. Too much cognitive dissonance, gotta push it away lol.

And therein lies the problem - this is one of those less common areas of medicine where docs are going with their gut or their own patient circle rather than actual science, and it's leaving us confused lol.

I think the issue is because we're fairly certain about what happens when you don't have enough estrogen, but confused about what happens if you have too much in different phases of our lives, especially with women who are sensitive to it (and we don't know why that is yet either).

 

Also, there's a lot of focus on estrogen, but not as much on progesterone.

I'm curious as to whether it may turn out like we're finding out about calcium, that dietary supplements in food form may be better than pills (for symptom relief, not contraception, of course).

Specifically, phytoestrogens from plants might be a better alternative than pills.

So we know that Asian women report menopause symptoms less, right?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12804320/Links to an external site.

And there has been some speculation as to why that is, whether it's cultural differences like less likelihood to report them or access to healthcare, or they genuinely experience less symptoms, and there has been some evidence to support that it may be at least partially diet - because phytoestrogens are found in soy isoflavones (not in your grocery store soy sauce).

Studies on this have been somewhat promising, but inconclusive, but you can bet I ate a ton of miso, tofu, and edamame especially during menopause! lol.

Regardless, I initially thought these horror stories were just local, both because we have a doctor shortage here now, and because we're not exactly a mecca of healthcare here anyway, but when I started digging a few years ago with my experience, I read about the WHI study and and the pushback, and read women's stories elsewhere.

Let's just say women are understandably confused about what to do, as a result, and the patient education experiences are not great.

Lastly, I hope this isn't too controversial to say, but the best resource for me, when young, was Planned Parenthood. People think it's just the abortion place, but it wasn't, most young women going there were either about contraception or their Paps and other exams.

I can't speak for every center, but they educated me completely about everything with pamphlets, diagrams, and took the time to answer any questions you had.

Younger ones or those without adequate health insurance, check it out, it's a great resource and operates on a sliding scale.

And with that, the Gentlelady from Kentucky yields her time (lol).

 

PS - School Assignment Part 2

(PS added)

So the second (and third) parts of my school assignment are to respond to 2 other posts and to any replies on my own (under our Pharmacology class discussion page).

Of course I'm not posting anyone else's posts or replies, but here is my reply to a reply under my post, which is important, because it actually contains the links/and gives more information on the 2002 Women's Health Initiative Study and the pushback that ensued, leading to further confusion regarding birth control and HRT treatments:

Hey XXX!

Thanks for replying and the backup on this subject - you write like a pro, by the way, very clear and concise - and yes, that was my goal, asking that people learn from my mistakes and not fearing advocating for yourself as women (I'm speaking to myself as much as anyone else, learning when to be assertive and when not to and how to.)

IMO, it just seems like the emphasis (and value) is still too focused on the female ability to have children, and to heck with women of a certain age, despite the fact that what you choose now can affect later, and even what you do during and postmenopause is important.

It's often finding a balance between symptom relief  and/or contraception VS. possible long-term effects.

On that note, our book mentioned that 2002 WHI study that revealed what we believed previously - throwing a bunch of estrogen at problems and hoping it'd stick, despite lack of evidence either way - was problematic at the very least.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12117397/

And what the book doesn't mention is that there was pushback, it was controversial, and there was a critique of that study in 2006 and others since.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1630688/

(Nothing against the book, I'm grateful they even mentioned it.)

Essentially, the pushback is with regard to reproductive cancer and estrogen therapy, that it's been misread and misinterpreted that birth control and HRT actually cause breast cancer, when that's not what it said -  it only said there was a correlation between the two and a slightly higher risk.

In other words, "correlation with" does not necessarily mean "caused."

(I personally never read it that way anyway, but apparently some did.)

 

After reading both studies, here's what I'm left with  ... 

It's complicated - and there is an important balance that needs to be had and that balance may even need to be individualized further for each woman, rather than trying to blanket all of us.

Further, I think at some point, we're going to need more research on what the mechanisms actually are that account for these differences and address those.

 

That is IF we can stop focusing our research JUST on women of childbearing age (though like I said, what you do now may affect later).

But for now, everything in moderation, just like everything else.

 

_____________________________________

PS - Interestingly and coincidentally, I'm doing a job for my contract work today about a completely unrelated drug coming to market, completely different medical area (and I can't tell you what and whom), but the economic pharmacologist respondent used this analogy:

"Let's pick something that’s been in the news recently, without (crosstalk) peri/post menopause, what is it, 25 years ago, someone said there was 35% higher chance of them developing breast cancer taking hormone therapy? Well, that turned out to be 4 out of 1,000 versus 5 out of 1,000, and so we scared women out of getting treated with hormones for 35 fricking years, which is criminal, so I’m thinking the same thing here."

He is referring to that 2002 WHI study we are talking about and the pushback controversy over it.

I see his point, and yet still, whether it's 4 out of 1,000 or 5 out of 1,000, we still don't yet understand WHY those 4 or 5 patients developed breast cancer or responded the way they did to hormonal therapy, and that may be important to know before blanket-generalizing treatment for all women.

Is it genetic variant we aren't aware of yet?

Is there some immunology involved? 

Is there some inhibition or overexpression going on?  

Why ARE some women more sensitive to estrogen than others (like me), and what other effects on the body does that have?

Do we really have to choose between bone-bending/bone-breaking osteoporosis and heightened risk for breast cancer in such absolute  either/or terms?

The truth is ... we don't know. 

Like I said, taking in both sides of this argument, for me, taking hormones in an individual cocktail like I'm doing, in moderation, perhaps even cyclical treatment with tapering, may be best for now until we know more.

My Post of a Post (School Assignment) ...

So we had an assignment, this week, to write a post on our class discussion forum in Pharmacology that included choices to be made when choosing birth control, side effects, risks, etc.

You were assigned to list 2 of this, 3 of that, etc. (i.e. risks, risk mitigation, symptoms, etc.) that were listed in the book.

Being an older student and no longer needing birth control - and not wanting to regurgitate or plagiarize our textbook - I decided to write this particular post from a more personal perspective to include not just birth control, but HRT for menopausal and post-menopausal women because they are often the same hormones.

(This was discussed in our chapter, but wasn't required as part of the assignment.)

I wrote the following ... and I like it.

Not sure how many points I get, but I like it lol.

Is it the best thing I've ever written?

No, of course not.

Is it something I think all women should read, regardless of age, learning from my experience (especially what NOT to do)?

Absolutely.

So without further ado, here it is ...

______________________________




Birth Control (and HRT) – One Size Does NOT Fit All

Just a bit of background first, using personal example of how we’ve come a long way, baby, since my first experience with birth control in the 1980s.

At that time, I was not a smoker and I was put on Ortho-Novum. Within 3 days, I was vomiting profusely, to the degree that I ended up in the emergency room needing an IV in my arm from dehydration. (It was very similar to the severe morning sickness I had with my daughter later.)

When the ER doctor assessed me, he pronounced me with “gastroenteritis,” despite the fact that it didn’t feel like gastroenteritis and no one around me was sick.

I politely asked “Is there any way that it’s the estrogen amount in the pill?”

You would've thought I had asked him if the earth revolved around the sun in the 1500s, rather than vice versa - and he behaved as if I was a heretic for even asking lol.

He literally raised his voice and said “No! God, that’s ignorant, all women have estrogen, it can’t give you side effects.”

Um … my boyfriend and I just looked at each other, blinked twice, said nothing, politely thanked him, and left.

I stopped the pill anyway and lo and behold, the nausea/vomiting stopped along with it.

I went to Planned Parenthood, where a female nurse practitioner pronounced him ignorant for not knowing that although all women have estrogen, the amount tolerated differs for each person, with some women being especially sensitive to estrogen (like me).

I was initially placed on Loestrin. After the birth of my daughter, I was diagnosed with hormone-induced migraines at age 29, plus I had started smoking (I know), putting me now at higher risk for DVT or PE. The Depo-Provera shot had just come out and I was switched to that, but I experienced breakthrough bleeding.

So it was back to Loestrin until the NuvaRing came out, with less estrogen and more progesterone; plus as now a busy mom, there was less worry about missing a pill and doubling up. I still had one migraine a month, but it was less severe, and sometimes just the “aura” with no pain. I continued with the NuvaRing until menopause (but shouldn't have, being a smoker and over age 35, but no one suggested otherwise).

Fast forward to menopause - age 52, still smoking (ashamedly), and now I had abnormal heavy bleeding and fibroids.

Knowing that I was especially sensitive to estrogen and a smoker, my OB/GYN put me on a “mini-pill” called Heather with 0.35 mg of norethindrone (progesterone) to control the bleeding and help shrink the fibroids.

(I cannot tell you what a Godsend this adjustment was for my menopause symptoms, to the degree that even when I was through menopause, I wanted to keep taking them, I felt so much better. I mean, I've never been much of a drinker or drug person, but I also have never in my life felt as good as when on these things! lol)

However, the fibroids were gone and birth control was now inappropriate, considering I was over 35 and smoking and now recently postmenopausal and at risk for osteoporosis.

But as soon as I quit taking them – and they were not tapered, just stopped - I immediately went back to extreme tiredness and PMS symptoms including lower pelvic discomfort and hot flashes, and I was told that estrogen will still spike up to years after menopause is over. Great, the party continues!

I asked if I could be on something, for a little while, but not true HRT.

I was never obese and always active, with normal BP and cholesterol, which mitigates the risk - but 52, postmenopausal, and smoking outweighs all the other risk factors.

Thus, at first, she said she didn’t want to put me on anything at all with my risk factors, and she “didn’t know much about HRT.”

I told her I didn’t want ongoing HRT, just transition cycling rather than abrupt discontinuation like this.

She saw me for a total of 3 minutes at my last 2 visits, which I found odd. She was always super nice (and still was), it's just 3-minute visits now?

I didn’t know how to interpret that, and I'm sure she didn't mean it like that - and God knows healthcare has become like a business now, get 'em in, get 'em out - but it felt to me like now that I was no longer of childbearing age/bleeding, whatever was going on was no longer a “real” concern.

Then her MA called me 2 days later with a prescription for 200 mg of progesterone daily.

Um again – 200 mg of pure progesterone?

That’s like swatting a fly with a sledgehammer, right?

I never picked up the prescription. I wasn’t sure why we swung from being concerned about prescribing anything at all to me over age 35 and a smoker to the other extreme, using a sledgehammer and increasing the risks by using maximum dose.

However, not wanting to be a Karen about it, I simply switched to another OB/GYN quietly.

This time, I found the only practitioner in town that was a certified NAMS (North American Menopause Society) provider.

You may be surprised to learn there was only one in my entire city of Lexington, but as our book says, this society has only been around since 2012, and some people still do not realize the importance of addressing menopause correctly, and how not doing so can lead to breast and endometrial cancers, osteoporosis, and other long-term conditions to contend with.

Thus, I would highly recommend when it’s “that time” for any women reading, look for an NAMS-certified professional.

I’m now on a cycling mix compound of mostly progesterone and a tiny bit of estrogen based on my labs, a few months on and off, and that works for me (and mitigates the risk), which we’ve tapered down as time has gone on (though I still experience some estrogen spikes every now and then).

As for mitigating risk factors, because there is a bit of estrogen in the compound and especially because I still smoke, I try to stay active/exercise (though it’s been hard this winter), watch my BP and cholesterol (still controlled with exercise only), stop the car on car trips and walk or get up and walk on planes, and I’m not ready for TED hose compression stockings yet, but those are also an option to mitigate the risk.

So my advice when it comes to birth control today – and the book’s advice – would be to take advantage of the plethora of options we have now and the percentage mixes of estrogen and progesterone or one or the other, balancing that with your age (especially over 35), your medical history, and the side effects.

Yes, these are hormones that all women have – but no 2 women are the same - and your body chemistry evolves over time.

Also, learn from my experience how NOT to do things – meaning report side effects right away and if something isn't right, ask questions and speak up.

Especially if you’re having chest pain and/or shortness of breath, and calf pain or redness, as these can be symptoms of PE or DVT and potentially life-threatening.

If they are dismissive, you can either try to educate them on things they’re outdated on by bringing in reputable studies or peer-reviewed journal articles to show evidence basis, or you can just find someone else who isn’t dismissive and is up to date.



I’m often afraid to speak up for myself when things go wrong, as I don’t want to be perceived as a Karen – but as my new OB/GYN said, “It’s not being a ‘Karen,’ it’s advocating for yourself. No sense in suffering in silence because of someone else’s arrogance.”

And if the symptoms turn out to be musculoskeletal or due to something else, even if the cause of the new symptom isn’t found or is an unusual side effect, that doesn’t mean it’s not real or that you’re nuts or being overdramatic - at least you ruled out the worst, right? No reason to be embarrassed.

Plus if you DO end up acting like a Karen, you have hormones to blame it on!

(Just kidding, NEVER do that – it only perpetuates that dismissive attitude in healthcare that women are being overdramatic or crazy that still exists - sometimes even with other women.)

When it comes to your body and your health, advocate for you – because nobody else is going to!

Make sure to go over your entire health history and lifestyle with your provider and make the choice together that’s right for you, and don’t be afraid to tell the provider it’s not working for you due to side effects (keeping in mind that they subside after that initial 2 weeks, when you should also be using backup birth control). And remember, they do NOT protect against HIV or other STIs.

Stay healthy, stay safe 😊

RIP, Reverend Jesse Jackson ...

One of the very last MLK-era civil rights leaders has left us, Reverend Jesse Jackson ... 😢

In fact, he was literally standing next to Martin Luther King Jr when he was assassinated ...

After MLK's death, Reverend Jackson never stopped pointing out the same inequities that still exist and are on the forefront of American politics today.

These men are irreplaceable - their particular form of civil disobedience moved the needle on civil rights, and IMO, when it comes to protests, we should take a page from their playbook and do more silent sit-ins and singing marches, it'd be harder for this administration to villainize and victim-blame that way. (And IMO, dance protests as an updated form, which I've said before).

He made a few mistakes along the way, which he openly regretted, apologized, and made amends for - but there was no better orator for civil rights except MLK himself.

"America is not like a blanket—one piece of unbroken cloth, the same color, the same texture, the same size. America is more like a quilt: many patches, many pieces, many colors, many sizes, all woven and held together by a common thread. The white, the Hispanic, the black, the Arab, the Jew, the woman, the native American, the small farmer, the businessperson, the environmentalist, the peace activist, the young, the old, the lesbian, the gay, and the disabled make up the American quilt."

 ~ from his famous "Rainbow Coalition Speech" at the Democratic National Convention in 1984.

Those words are just as impactful and true now as they were then, even more important in our current political environment.

RIP, Reverend - you've earned it.  We will miss you 😢

Trump's Truth Social Valentine's Day Flash Mob?

 

I'm not on Truth Social, but apparently after "Pedo Protector Pam" Bondi's wild ride in the congressional hearing - in which Congress revealed some of the perpetrator's names that the DOJ had curiously redacted, but somehow "accidentally" publicly published the victim's names on the DOJ website -  and that in reality, it's estimated that Trump's name actually appeared over a million times before redaction (and they're not even done reviewing yet) -  Trump posted this on social media for Valentine's Day ...

Then someone posted this ... 

And then someone else posted this ... 

And THESE ...

And someone "lovingly" restored this famous photo ... 

To its "original" version? 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

One of those things where you feel bad about laughing, but you can't help it - and if you don't laugh, you'll cry!

(Republican) US Representative Thomas Massie from Kentucky VS Pam Bondi

 

Just wanted to highlight US Representative Massie's role in the hearing. 

US Representative Thomas Massie is a Republican representing Northern Kentucky who initially supported Trump, but is now vehemently anti-Trump -  especially over the Epstein situation. 

He was also the representative who initially blew the whistle on the DOJ website initially publically publishing the victims names, but redacting the perpetrators.

I think he did a very good job of laying out the redaction problems and his efforts to pinpoint accountability for such "accidents" (that keep happening), adding further that they only changed the website after he "caught them red-handed."

He also further went on to say the only reason he knows who the names are that were redacted is because he read the victims' testimonies from the FBI, because the DOJ still has not met with the victims despite repeated requests. 

Probably the most powerful thing he said, after Bondi tried to deflect onto Biden - and then tried to say his questioning was "political" and he had "Trump derangement syndrome " (which he ignored) -  was that this goes back 4 presidents and is beyond political party.

Bravo, Representative Massie - you said what needed to be said -  that the perpetrators and enablers are on BOTH sides of politics and this goes back 4 presidents and DOJs ...

... but it is the current administration and DOJ who are desperately trying to put that cat back in the bag, for what reason we don't know. 

Thank you for putting doing the right thing above political party.

Other than our governor, Andy Beshear, this would literally make only the second time in 3 decades that I am proud of a politician from my state of Kentucky ...  😊

IMO, Most Overlooked Important Moment from the Pam Bondi Testimony ...

 

As we know, Pam Bondi refused to answer questions, preferring to distract, ask her own questions, and insult Congress members asking questions as being "washed up losers,"   then devolved into snark and screaming by the end.

But before we go to the most important overlooked moment, IMO, can I just say - it was the women members of Congress who handled her best?

The men mostly either started yelling right back at her or just kind of threw up their hands and gave up.  😂

The women stayed calm and were were like "Oh, no, girl - not today, not on my watch - you're not gonna weasel out of my question by asking a question."

The one exception being Rep. Becca Balint, who came at her hard and yelled, but understandably could no longer continue, after Pam Bondi insinuated she was antisemitic for not voting on a bill, despite the fact that Balint is Jewish and her own grandfather died in the holocaust!

Now - IMO, Senator Jayapal had the most important moment, which I've already mentioned in the post below. 

But another important moment that's actually being overshadowed in favor of all the theatrics is Representative Deborah Ross from North Carolina, who informed us of what most of us didn't know.

The fact that Ghislaine Maxwell was quietly transferred from a maximum security facility to a minimum security prison months ago, and receives special individual workouts/private trainers, "puppy time," and a host of other luxury benefits other prisoners do not receive.

Ross asked Bondi if she agreed with pedophiles and their enablers to be in minimum security luxury prisons, to which Bondi replied "No," 

Then Ross further asked "Who signed the order?"


*Crickets*

Which, of course, Bondi refused to answer and tried to distract again with questions.

This is a bombshell to those of us who didn't know.

Why WAS Ghislaine Maxwell moved to a minimum security prison and who signed that order?

Otherwise, there is a protocol for these proceedings.

It's just like a courtroom, perhaps one of the most important courtroom proceedings there are next to the SCOTUS.

You ARE under oath, you must at least attempt to answer questions (not answer with your own questions), and you may not personally insult the question askers, lest ye be held in contempt if the chair so decides (who unfortunately is Chief Trump Ass Kiss, Jim Jordan). 

Nobody explains that better that Representative Jasmine Crockett. 

You wanna act sassy, snarky, disrespectful, throw shade, and yell?

Crockett's gonna throw it right back at you, only she's better at it - and you might actually learn something in the process, too. 😂

Keep in mind, this was after Bondi had insulted several lawyers in Congress already, and that Jasmine Crockett is an attorney.

Highlights?

"Our witness, who somehow is a lawyer, but does not understand how it works with witnesses. I'm not really sure what law school she went to, and what all kinda cases she tried, but typically, when you come into a space and somebody's a witness, then they sit there and they answer questions instead of asking questions ..."

"... but nevertheless, let me address the survivors - because that's exactly who they are, they are NOT victims, they are survivors.  Let me say thank you for having more courage and more clarity in your pinky fingers than the entire Department of Justice ..."   

"The fact of the matter is that you will be remembered as one of the worst Attorney Generals in history; an Attorney General who has prioritized obstruction over justice, corruption over the law, fealty to the president over loyalty to the constitution, and Mr. Chairman, I yield my time."

(Mic drop)

Wooooo! 

Amen. Preach, Jasmine, preach! 

Bondi is correct, Crockett didn't actually ask her a question, because as she stated at the beginning of her time, she wasn't going to get an answer anyway.  😂

Then Bondi proceeds to try to talk about a particular crime in Crockett's state of Texas - despite the fact that Crockett has nothing to do with the justice system in Texas, but Bondi IS in charge of the federal justice system at the DOJ!

Yet Bondi imagines she's on a distraction roll anyway, ending it with "they wanna talk about Epstein instead of crime within their own states."

Record scratch.

Um ... yeah?

Because this is at a national level and even your own constituents want to know about how deep this Epstein thing goes and billionaire involvement!

Something you AND Trump initially promised to do but have done everything you could to prevent for over a year!

First you say the client files are on your desk, then you say there's no client files, then you drag your feet for over a year, redacte perpetrators names but not the victims, and try to distract us with immigrant BS and waste taxpayer money going after Trump's enemies, cases which the judges are throwing out anyway!

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but it doesn't take a conspiracy theorist to realize something really is amiss, here.

Watching a Brat (And Not the Good Kind) - Pam Bondi's Testimony ...

 

Edited: Apologies, I meant to post this montage of some of her most entitled teenage-brat snark moments. There were actually worse moments than these - the screeching and screaming that came later -  but I couldn't find just one video that showed them all, there were so many   😂

Show of hands - how many members of Congress (both Democrats and most Republicans) - and moms in America - wanted to send falsely entitled, bratty Pam Bondi to her room without her cell phone until she calmed down and stopped verbally abusing everybody around her? 😂

✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋

✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋

✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋

✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋

(There are more, but I'll stop there.)

Dang, I wanted to send flowers later to her poor mom, all her exhusbands, and her stepchildren for having to contend with that 😂

The woman is 60 years old, being asked in a Congressional hearing why she published the victims' names from the Epstein files, but redacted the names of the rich/powerful -  but you'd think she was  a 14-year-old being asked by a parent where she'd been, throwing snarky insults around for daring to ask! 😂

Speaking of hand-raising, the saddest part?

Senator Jamila Jayapal asking for the Epstein victims in the courtroom to stand, and then asking them to raise their hands if they had still not been able to meet with this Department of Justice yet ...

... - and every single one of them raised their hands. 😢

Senator Jayapal then asked for Pam Bondi to apologize to them for releasing their names and information in the files, but she refused to do so.

In fact, she tried to distract from the question by deflecting onto former AG, Merrick Garland, who was nowhere around when Bondi's DOJ released victim names.

Senator Jayapal reminded her that Merrick Garland was not responsible for the release of victim names and information - she was. 

Republican Jim Jordan - House Chairman of the Judiciary Committee and Chief US Rep Trump Brown-Noser - tried to protect  (help cover up) Bondi's actions by telling Jayapal that Bondi could answer the question any way she wanted to.

Jayapal repeated that she's not answering the question she asked her  - taking responsibility for HER actions while in office, not her predecessor's - releasing the victim names and info along with the files. 

Bondi refused, further saying that she's "not going to get in the gutter for her theatrics."

Hahaha! 😂😂😂

Oh, she was serious.

Gurrrrlll, were you looking in a mirror when you said that?

Well, I guess you'd know about theatrics, now, wouldn't ya? 

Bitch, you're a lawyer for Trump - you LIVE in the gutter, you chose it and you love it!🤣

Um ... Senator Jayapal was likely the calmest person in the room! 😂

In fact, even Jim Jordan had to tell Bondi to stop yelling/tone it down, at one point.

One of the most frustrating characteristic behaviors of MAGA to deal with is their tendency to project all of their own behavior onto others in deflection when asked a direct question and personally insulting you for even asking.

And the most surprising thing is how many MAGA fall for it or cheer it on, either without realizing this pattern of being distracted or because they just like it when white people act like a-hole bullies.

And on our side, stop letting ourselves get railroaded and distracted  by letting the personal insults and false accusations deter us.

Congress, you don't help by not keeping your questions pointed and short - dispense with the rhetoric.

Now - having said that, I couldn't be a Congresswoman OR a reporter because I have thin skin, but they are where they are because they don't, right?

So they should be prepared for personal insults by this administration who hath no personal boundaries and lives in the gutter - be prepared for anything to come back at you. 

You don't have to get down in the gutter with them, but you can throw right back what they just threw at you instead of letting it stick and stewing over it, right?

So how about when Trumps says stuff like "You're ugly" or "You're nasty" to reporters asking pertinent questions, ...

Just quipping back:  "Awwm thanks, you too -  now why are you redacting the billionaires names from the Epstein files but publicly revealing the victims, and why won't you meet with the victims?"😎

Or when Bondi says "You're not even a lawyer" to Congress ...

Saying "Neither is most of your GOP Congress nor Trump himself, your point? . Please stop redacting billionaire names and publishing victims names and meet with the victims."

Whatever the case, I will say this to Bratty Karen - erm, I mean Pam - Bondi ... 

All right, Missy, I think you need a time out. 😂

Because there's sassy and then there's being a verbally abusive Karen, too big for your breeches. 

You're speaking to the House Judiciary Committee, not one of your ex-husbands 🤣

Please go to your room until you can discuss things calmly and answer questions without verbally abusive deflection.

PS - How Did I Miss My Pedro?

 ... during the Bad Bunny halftime show?

I saw Cardi B and Jessica Alba, but I didn't see my Pedro Pascal.

Maybe because he was standing all cool in the background like this ...

He apparently was only panned by with the camera for a second, but there are some clips from the crowd of him dancing on their cell phones (that are too short to share) but nevertheless awesome.

Ye-es-es, now my week is complete 😊