Somebody Turned 3 Today!

 

Nope, not spoiled or anything! 😆

Ziggy's a big boy, now - time flies!

Just a look back at we got him (June 2023) ... 

Look at how tiny he was!

Melania's Speech ...

 

So ... the question on everyone's minds is, "Why?"

Because her husband, the President of the United States, has been very clear about wanting to move on from Epstein.

The DOJ and others have refused to even talk to the victims. 

In fact, some people - including Iranians - have speculated that the whole Iran thing was nothing more than a distraction from it.

Then suddenly Melania turns our attention BACK on it, actually giving a speech on what she did and did not know about Epstein and calls for the victims to be heard?

Hmm, very strange.

She mentions lies about her circulating, but I really haven't seen any about her, other than pictures at parties. Oh, and the "first time she and Donald had sex was on Epstein's plane" thing.

But those rumors have been out for a while -  so I disagree with the social media theory that she just got tired of the rumors about herself or "suddenly saw them." 

That wouldn't be enough to draw our attention back to this, despite her husband's wishes, would it?

Now, her husband has been that impulsive when viewing things about himself, but I don't believe she ever has?

Actually MY first thought was "Okay, what bombshell is about to drop that she's launching a pre-emptive  PR strike?"

Maybe not, but this IS very clearly distancing herself from her husband and his current stance on the whole Epstein thing.

In fact, whether what she's saying is 100% true or not, dare I say it's almost like she's showing her husband how to do this, like "Look, if you're truly not guilty, then this is how you do this -  you address it head on and call for the victims to be heard - so why aren't you?" - which if that's really the case, then I applaud her.

In fact, you can't help but admire the way she did that - especially when apparently, Trump had no idea.

However, I can't help but wonder the motivation, because she's never done this before despite rumors for years - so until we know that, I'll hold my applause. 😉

Also, an angle no one else has mentioned, (at least that I've seen) is, I know that Melania takes her Catholic faith very seriously, it was just Easter, and Pope Leo has made some very pointed statements about the war - especially regarding Trump's threat about "an entire civilization will die tonight" genocidal maniac speech. 

So did the Pope's rebuke of Trump that have anything to do with this?

Eh, it's more likely what I said earlier, a pre-emptive strike before a bombshell comes out, but it in fact could be multifactorial.

We shall see ... 

If I Ever Need A Reminder ...

 

... of why I'm going to school at my age, this is it ... 

$5 to $12 day for an experienced medical transcriptionist?!? 

Sign me up!

*sarcasm*

That's adding insult to injury, a slap in  the face.

Dang, I could literally go mow somebody's lawn and make more.

Okay, now look - I get that most everyone went to outsourcing, check-the-box EHRs, and now AI - but medical transcription is an actual skill.

In fact, it's a slap in the face even to basic data entry people!

And they pay you peanuts like that, with no benefits, and then still scream at you in capital letters or in chat or over the phone for any mistakes! 

I'm talking screamed at and our jobs threatened in mass emails over stupid stuff like leaving an extra space before a period, stuff that doesn't affect patient care or billing and I doubt anyone else even notices, and for damn sure is NOT the reason for outsourcing or AI - they're going to AI because it's cheaper - period. 

In fact, I didn't used to be a perfectionist (ask my family) - I've been conditioned to be one (which is also why I come back here and edit stuff 1,000 times later, when I have more time).  

Who in their right mind would sign up for that?

I'll tell you who - people like me -  who stayed in this field for entirely too long because she didn't think she deserved any better, that's who - people who feel so broken and lucky to even have a job.

And the transcription company owners and supervisors know that, too, that's what they want, they're sweatshops. 

NOT ALL - my current contract boss I've been with for 6 years is the best boss I've ever had, it's just there's no work anymore.

And any jobs that are left in the field, you'll most likely work with at least one real winner, too -  OCD mean girls who like to feel superior to everyone else and/or people who have worked at home even before COVID because they know for dang sure their sh*t wouldn't fly anywhere else.

Like I said, not all - but I have never seen the like of genuinely unhealthy people in this field - and I was in show business many years ago!

Honest to God, tho, that never really happened in the workplace until the latter years of transcription, never in any other job (except a little bit in the last recession in another field when jobs were scarce).

Because it didn't used to be like this in transcription, actually, until the late 2000s when outsourcing started and EHRs and jobs became scarce. 

I think that's when all the normal people who already knew they could do more, left, thus leaving mostly truly unhealthy people in charge as the only ones left,  as well as people like me, who felt like they couldn't do anything else, beneath them.

But my God, now that I'm in school and doing so well, I could kick myself for not having done this sooner!

In fact, I wish I could shake myself about 15 years ago and go "You DO deserve better, go back to school, you can do it!" - but back then, I felt I was lucky to have anything, I was so broken. 

Now that I'm in school, making kind friends who aren't competitive, doing well, and  I'm having (mostly) a ball in general, I can't even believe I did that for so long.

Why?

In addition to what I just said, I realized that actually comes from somewhere first - a home life led by unhealthy, even bullying people who catastrophized everything others did to make themselves feel superior - it was familiar to me. 

I knew there were better jobs and people out there, I just thought I didn't deserve them?

I know, people will tell you it's everywhere nowadays, toxic workplaces in recent years, so that was another reason, I didn't want to be picky and ungrateful.

I did finally start speaking up about it starting a few years ago -  first for other people being bullied - and that got me nowhere but becoming the new target of bullying myself. 

Then for myself, just because I was new and lowest person on the totem pole and that's just the way they treated new people.

The final straw wasn't because I was just new, or because I spoke up for anyone else being bullied - it was because I was actually doing so well, which unfortunately my managers made the mistake of broadcasting to everyone - whups!

One coworker imagined I was "trying to make her look bad" and get ahead of her and literally went psycho on me via my personal cell phone, daring me to try to tell anyone because I had no proof.

Did it matter that I wasn't trying to make her or anyone look bad, just be grateful and work hard -  or that no one was going to move up anywhere? 

Nope - only in her psycho fantasy mind.

I loved that job, still miss it, everyone else was great - but she made it clear she was gunning for me and I'm too old for that shit.

And still, at the end of the day, I always blamed myself anyway for being the common denominator, going over and over what I could've done differently, beating myself up  - until that incident, that was the final straw.

I said "All right, that's it, I'm done. Enough. This isn't normal. This is BS and there's a reason why people started leaving in droves years ago.  There has to be better than this. I'm going to find out if I can do better."

Essentially, it was the same thing I said to myself when I walked away from my abusive exhusband, as well as the originators, my  own abusive family.

In fact, it wasn't until I started to believe I deserved better that I met Mark - our 10-year anniversary is coming up, and I couldn't be happier!

So now, we're finding out if the same is true with career, albeit at 57 years old.

It will not be easy, just as it wasn't when I left other unhealthy people/situations. It will be a struggle. And though I am getting a bit tired of struggle, it's so worth the peace on the other side. 

The good news is, I am so surprised with the kind, encouraging, genuine, noncompetitive NORMAL people, both classmates and professors, I could cry - in a good way. 

I remember this from years ago, before transcription, this is NORMAL.

Is every day perfect and everyone perfect?

No, but neither am I. 

Are there some kinks that still need to be worked out with the program, mostly due to the online-only communication - like the instructions could be a bit clearer sometimes and grading is a little arbitrary?

Yes. 

BUT - I realized today to quit my bitching - compared to where I've been, this is nothing.

In fact, I know that even though I've likely driven my professors slowly insane with my conditioned perfectionism due to my previous line of work, then cowering waiting for a rundown of how much I sucked overall if I asked a question or made a mistake - NONE of that came my way!

Nothing but asking how they can help.

Thank you, both UC staff and friends I've made over the past few months, I truly appreciate you 🫶

 

Hilarious Dream ...

 

I have no idea why I had this dream, probably because I watched the news just before bed last night?

It was one of those dreams that was so real, I could see every expression on his face.

So I'm at Kroger, waiting on Mark to pick me up. 

There's no bench, but I notice an abandoned wheelchair. I wait a while to see if anyone claims it, then I realize it belongs to the store to help people out, so I sit down a second, sure Mark will be along any second.

All of the sudden, Donald Trump walks by and stands near me, waiting for someone too. (?)

I just stare at him for a second and then quietly say "Hello."

He looks down at me, lifts his chin, sniffs, and then says "And?"

As if he was waiting for me to haul off on him or something.

Instead, I extended my hand for him to shake it, which he does reluctantly.

Then I say, "Do better ... okay?"

He softens, realizing that's all I'm gonna say, drops his eyes, and says "I will."

😂

I have no idea why I had that dream, what Donald Trump would be doing at Kroger waiting on the curb for someone to pick him up like everyone else, or what was with the wheelchair thing, but that's a dream for you. 😂

(Edited - after scratching my head about the wheelchair thing for some time, this morning, I think I figured it out - it represents powerlessness, right?)

And if I did see him, I would hopefully have a lot more to say than that ... but then again, maybe that's exactly what I would do if in that situation - just extend a hand in peace and just gently ask him to do better.

Who knows, but I think I'll wear a crucifix to bed tonight! 😂

Nah, that doesn't work, I've tried with nightmares with PTSD. At least this one wasn't!

_________________________________

PS - It's weird because I have never before had a dream with Donald Trump in it in my life, right?

So I told my classmates about it in Teams chat, just now, and one of them said "OMG, that's so weird, because I had a dream about him too! Only he was in my bedroom announcing to the world he was switching political parties."  😂😂😂

But she was just like "You're too old, man. Too old." 😂

Then I said "Well, if Donald Trump, or anyone, showed up in my actual bedroom, I doubt I'd be as nice."  😂

Then we started talking about there being no good reason you can't choose your dreams.

I'm like "Why can't dreams be like ordering your food, like "I'm in a Jason Momoa mood tonight, with a side of Benedict Cumberbatch. Oh, and we're in Fiji, and Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pine" feed me delicious treats while fanning me."

But no. 

Instead, you get wheelchairs in Kroger parking lots with Trump. 😂

Big Presentation Project Completed!

  

I had my biggest class project yet, this week -  and just got it scored - and I got 100%! 

I'm kinda proud of myself.

Is it the best thing ever?

No -  but it took some time, especially for me, who'd never created a PowerPoint slide deck before. 

We had to use PowerPoint for the slides, but record it in Kaltura, which was a task because there's no edit features, so it was one long recording - like 9 times to make sure I got everything in (so forgive any stumbles, this was one long sweep recording without edits).

We had to pretend like we were an HIM Director explaining to our staff what an MPI is.

Just a reminder, this is my own creative content, nothing proprietary from the school was shared.

I'm putting it here as I go along to keep me motivated!

I'm getting A's in both classes so far, but they're accelerated classes, so motivation is a good thing!

It's 15 minutes long, so I don't expect anyone to watch the whole thing, this is mostly just for me.

Ziggy does make an appearance, though, just to make things less boring! 😂

 

PS - Yes - I Had Permission to Post The Screen Shot

 

In fact, the person that sent us the screen shot - and my family member - wanted me to post about it, since I am not employed at FCPS.

We are also not on FB, so you can be sure it's not just us or just my family member with these sentiments.

In fact, I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do, it's usually because I'm walking away from someone or something entirely.

However, if the issue is bigger than me or affects others who don't have a voice - I will not hesitate.

This one fits that bill.

Our schools are in literal budget crisis and all we see is more of the same unqualified cronyism and corruption that got us into this mess in the first place. 

Dear Dr. Demetrius Liggins, Superintendent for Fayette County Public Schools ...

(Yes - I had permission from the person who texted me the FB page to post this  - in fact, that person - and my family member -  wanted me to, since I'm not employed there.) 

Someone sent me this Facebook post of his, right after the Lexington Herald Leader reported he "wasn't taking" the superintendent job for a school system in Missouri after all -  a job he applied for after he got in hot water over the budget.

Is he "not taking" the Missouri job or did that final interview (which apparently was more of an interrogation on the goings on here) not go well? 

Who knows - but he just posted this ... 

Now - understand that I haven't actually written this to him, but also, knowing that he pings out for mentions of himself online, I'm hoping he will read this. If not, then I just feel better. 😂

Dear Dr. Liggins,

When you first arrived, we were your biggest cheerleaders. We wanted you to succeed here, not only because you were a well-educated, intelligent, seemingly kind person with great ideas, but because you were an LGBTQ black male in a Southern district who could move us forward and improve things for children from impoverished and/or marginalized groups.   

We were a bit concerned about the racism and bigotry that might come your way, but we were ready to support you through any backlash.  

Unfortunately, you disappointed us - and the backlash is legitimate concern - because you have legitimately made strange and extravagant budget and staffing decisions.

At first, I, myself, wanted to believe the backlash was racism and bigotry - but a time came when I could no longer deny it wasn't.   

I'm not going to get into details of what I know for a fact, but it would appear that you care more about controlling your appearance instead of actually being that person.  

You accomplish this by allegedly "anonymously" commenting on any press or social media post written about you (everyone knows is you because of the details you slip), surrounding yourself with unqualified, dishonest cronies (most of them being MAGA people, mostly white), and campaigning for yourself for various superintendent awards from organizations very far removed from here, using skewed data.

Like it or not, you represent other people of color and LGBTQ who want to succeed - and you're giving them a bad name - especially in the eyes of the type of people who already expect bad behavior from people of color, LGBTQ, and Democrats.

And what do you mean by you only accept positivity?  

Does that explain why the Budget Director was put on unexplained leave last summer, when she tried to tell you the budget was in trouble?   

You blamed your staff for not telling you these things publicly in the paper - but she tried - and her attorney published those emails in the paper to prove it.  

There's a difference between "negativity" and refusing to listen to a team member trying to tell you "we're in trouble."   

You CANNOT just shoot messengers who give you bad news and keep unqualified "yes" men and women around you - that is exactly what created this mess.  

Also, what then separates you from narcissistic leaders like Trump?   

And as for lies - what lies?  Tell us what they are versus truth then, publicly and nonanonymously, and address them? 

And are we all just supposed to pretend you didn't just try to run off to Missouri and leave us in this mess that YOU created, after all of this came out publicly? 

But now suddenly, immediately after the Missouri job interrogated you on final interview yesterday,  you alert the press and school district that you're "committed," and in it to win it?

Come on, man - you can do better than this. 

Not all Kentuckians are dumb, gullible hillbillies. 

It's pretty clear that you feared not getting the job, now, and don't have another choice.

You don't have to play the corrupt white straight male game to win, in your position - so why DO you?   

Don't you know that racists and bigots are waiting for this? 

They ignore cronyism, cheating, and corruption when white men do it, but they are always looking for it in men like you?   

By the way, there's a reason why the people supporting you at central office are mostly-white MAGA people - and it's not a good one.   

(Here's a hint, Uncle Tom - it may have to do with your corrupt/cronyism MAGA-style actions benefitting them personally, but make no mistake - they'll never fully accept you or anyone from your demographic nor vote your way overall in politics. At most, they will consider you an "exception to the rule" and use you, so long as you protect THEM.)   

DO BETTER ... please?  

Our kids deserve better!

Unfortunately, many people of color and LGBTQ who don't work for Central Office believe this is a racism and bigotry thing.

It isn't - and people of color and LGBTQ working at Central Office will be the first ones to tell you that.

In fact, they say things like "He's giving us a bad name, when we don't need any more bad names."

Sad situation.

___________________________________

PS - Should you also want to shoot my family member still working there over my message here, you may want to consider the following: 

In the unlikely event that happens, we can always revisit the issue of how medical accommodations for stroke were repeatedly ignored   😉

Plus it's not just us. In fact, we're not even on FB.

Which means someone else sent this to us, touting your arrogance and absolute denial - and by the way, it was a person of color.

Also, though I am admittedly growing tired of giving the same benefit of the doubt for others I would like for myself - especially people who never do the same or have already proven they don't deserve it repeatedly -  I will not stop doing so overall. 

(I'll just do it sooner when proof is staring at me right in the face.)

I will also never stop supporting anti-racism and anti-bigotry, despite the antics of people like you. 

Because bad apples like you exist in every demographic - they don't spoil the group overall - and there are some GREAT apples in your demographic, the best people I know.

It's just a shame most of the ones who make it into any sort of power ARE the bad apples who abuse their power, black, white, purple, gay or straight, Christian or not.

Which only proves, I guess, that those most deserving of the golden ring and who can be trusted with it rarely get it.

Regardless, I refuse to believe you are a bad apple overall - so remember or find the integrity within yourself to turn this ship around before we go under - please?

Netflix "Something Very Bad is Going to Happen" - Finale

 

Okay, so I watched the end. 

Great horror watch - just a so-so watch as far as story and filmmaking.

Ending was unexpected, so they get points for that - if I can guess how something ends/whodunnit in the first 10 minutes - which I usually can, being a former aspiring screenwriter - I lose interest, and I didn't.

But it's just a few things wrong with the story?

Because questions #2, 3, and 6 from my below post are still unanswered - and it really bothers me when a show leaves loose ends. 

There's red herrings and then there's "Wait, what about _____?"

Perhaps because there are because there are better that don't. In fact, the Duffer brothers can do better as far as answering questions by the end. 

Sometimes it takes a couple of seasons - maybe they if there's a second season they will?

The good news is, as mentioned in the post below, I was waiting for the Duffer brothers to place their own signature mark on filmmaking, as thus far, they were paying homage to other filmmakers - and I think they did it.

In the wedding scene as the bridge enters - the camera is upside down.

Not only is this a wink to their first big collaboration, the "upside down" world from Stranger Things, they like to show how things look from a different or "flipped" perspective, from "upside down"  🙂

PS - "Something Very Bad is Going to Happen" on Netflix (Updated)

  

So I thought there was just 1 episode left, but there were actually a few. I'm midway through Episode 6, and here are my questions.

1. We're assuming that creepy "immortal" guy can be trusted/is telling the truth and trying to help her - but what's his excuse for peering over the bathroom stall at her?

2. What about the serial killer story at the beginning, the podcast, which was similar - but not - to what happened to her mother? And the serial killer was the "Coldie" man, whom we saw in the video of her parents. There's a reason they put that in, what is it?

 

3. Why did the mom say "I'm so, so sorry for what's about to happen to you both" in Episode 1. Did she mean her own death from cancer or something else?

 

4. How the heck did that kid create that decoy and life it up in those trees all by himself?

 

5. Okay, we get it already, the fox metaphor stuff - it chewed off its own leg to get away. Is that a red herring or-?

  

6. Why did people in HIS family also die in weird ways right after marriage? 

And the supposed "curse" ...

So ...  there's actually a couple of possibilities of a way out here, that they haven't mentioned. 

What if the betrothed decides YOU aren't "the one" instead of you - is the curse broken then?

And is it that you just believe they're your soulmate, or there is some objective soul mate that "fate" decides you should marry and that's the key ?

And even if all that fails, can you go through the wedding nuptials at a church, but not sign the paperwork, would that work?

Or an immediate annulment/divorce ready, would that stop it?

I really hope they're going to answer all of these questions, because if they don't, then this show isn't as good the press it's getting and I will feel like I've wasted a few hours. 😂

____________________________________________

Update: So I watched the end of Episode 6, and creepy immortal man who explained "the curse" to her initially said he likes to take "treasures" from the victims after they die.

See? 

I told you.

This man cannot be trusted overall. 

He may tell some truth, but not the whole truth.

There may be a curse, but he may have started it in a different way than he said - OR - at the very least, he knows the secret of how to get out of it and won't say. 

Mark said "Yeah, maybe they just believe they're gonna die, so they die."

I said "I considered that, but her mom did start hemorrhaging profusely and spontaneously, on video. That can't be psychological. And why did people in HIS family die in tragic ways too after marriage? Matter of fact, I'm adding that to the unanswered questions list!" 

So I did. 😂

Clearly, the whole thing is a metaphor about marriage jitters and fears - let's hope it ends well,

Meanwhile, definitely seeing prior directors' influence in this show - heavy on the David Lynch/Twin Peaks stuff, Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining," hints of the Final Destination series, and even a little Tarantino in certain shots and the way the story is told. 

(No Ari Aster, thank God. He pushes things right out of spooky and into disturbing.)

It's all good, but waiting for the Duffer brothers to put their own  signature mark on things, besides the story itself. 

_____________________________

In Appreciation of My Husband ...

 

So I thought after I wrote the below - with my husband being even more horrified about it than I was - I thought I'd follow it up with a a positive post, this time a good man - my husband - who's the only one that really matters 😂

This past week was incredibly busy with school - 4 project assignments for one class due in 1 weeks, and then my other class, which is mostly straightforward reading, testing, and discussions on a forum.

It's supposed to be part-time school, but I swear to goodness, last week, I spent about 50 hours on both classes. 

(Remember, though, that these are accelerated classes - entire semesters compacted into 6 weeks.)

The one with the 4 project assignments is the one where the tech not working initially almost caused me to drop out, but my professor found a workaround, and the other tech needed works just fine, so all good there now. 

Last week, my husband put both hands on my shoulders and said "Okay, Miss A student - some things like tech issues are beyond your control. You don't have to get an A every single time, you know. Don't let this consume you. Do what you can, put your all into it, but you need more sleep. Put it away for a few hours every couple of days."

At first, I was like "Whaa? Not get an A? That's not an option.I have gotten an A in everything since my sophomore year of college the first go round."

A few of my classmates and I created a private chat, and one of them - also typically an A student -  said to me "Remember, Ladies, C's still get degrees."

Don't get me wrong - I still have an A, miraculously, at the moment - in both classes, actually - but they're both right.

That reminded me of an old transcription joke I heard about doctors.

What do you call the doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class in medical school?

Doctor. 😂

Well, at present, I'm still an A student somehow (knock on wood) and I hope it doesn't come to that!

But Mark was right - so we went out and enjoyed the sunshine yesterday, ordered out, and then drank a glass of wine while binge-watching the new Duffer brothers (Stranger Things) horror movie on Netflix called "Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen." 

Creepy AF!

When that gray old-man face appears for a flash over the bathroom stall door at her, I literally drew in my breath .... aaaAAK!

(I'm pretty sure the Duffer brothers researched what scares women for this movie - because HELL yeah, when you're in a public bathroom stall at your most vulnerable, some creeper peering over the stall at you would be up there in the Top 5 fears of women.)

We have one more episode to go, but I was thinking "If my prospective family-in-laws acted like that, and my fiance acted clueless about how creepy they all were, I'd be like 'bye' and get the F out, after like the second thing they did, right?

But no, it's a horror movie, where they almost always stay in situations they shouldn't for far too long, so she of course doesn't - and it's not just about the creepy family, after all,they're all tied together by some curse anyway, it seems, but we will know more as we go along.  

Also, not knowing the premise of the above show, we had just rewatched "Ready Or Not," since "Ready or Not 2" just came out, to refresh our memories - with a seemingly similar premise.

Me: "WTH, both movies appear thus far to have the same/similar premise -  is somebody trying to tell me something? 😂 

"Too late, we're going on 9 years of marriage now! Your family may be  slightly dysfunctional, but nobody tops my own family!" 

"Well, except maybe my ex's family. My ex-MIL literally tried to hire someone to break us up so she could raise my stepson herself, after previously chasing the boy's actual mother off - which was, of course, insane - and looking back, she can have all of THAT to herself. But at least no one is trying to sacrifice anyone to Satan or the God of Death or whatever!" 😂

 

Mark: "Yet ... mwahahaha!"

😂😂😂😂

Then I sat in his lap and showered him with kisses and and heaped praise upon him for being the best thing that ever happened to me since the birth of my daughter.

Love you, Hicks ... 

~ Ripley xo

Comment I Left Under a YouTube Video ...

 

Sometimes my husband and I watch creepy videos like doorbell cam videos or cop videos or ghostie stuff if nothing else is on, or if it's late and we don't want to start a longer show, or in the case of tonight, waiting for MSU to play UConn in the tournament tonight at 9:45.

Anyway, we ended up going down the rabbit hole and watching these cop videos, one guy keeping a paralyzed woman in his basement in Cleveland.

Aside - Cleveland, what is up with you all and keeping women in your basement?

Anyway, the videos were pretty good, with the second one being heartbreaking for the children, so I considered subscribing - and then I saw the very last video.

It actually really upset me, because it was scary, and not for the reasons that you think.

I don't leave comments anywhere anymore, unless they're positive, or answering a question, but even that's rare - but this one really rattled me.

Now, keep in mind, I'm well aware that women can commit domestic violence just like men - for instance, I saw the Frankie Taylor Paul video - that was HER domestic violence, no doubt about it.

However, I am also acutely aware of the dismissive bias against women when making a complaint, which is another reason women don't report it or fail to press charges.

And before I say this, I want to make clear that that did NOT happen in my own DV personal experience years ago.

In fact, it was a DV- trained white male Southern cop, believe it or not -  called by a neighbor after eyewitnessing something -  who actually woke me up to how bad things really were, because I had been dismissing things/gaslighting myself - and I am forever grateful to him for it  🥲

I'm not going to post the actual video here because I don't want to give this channel more attention, but I can leave a copy of my comment after what I saw - and I think you can get the gist of what's in the video by my comment.

Really scary-good videos that I hadn't seen before (the second one was more heartbreaking than scary), I almost hit the subscribe button - until the very last video, you lost me - here's why ... 

I'm sorry, but as unlikeable as that woman appeared to be that called the police on her boyfriend, the cops ignored crucial details - nobody just walks up and scratches somebody in the neck when mad - neck scratches are usually self-defensive wounds. 

That is why in sexual assault and murders of women, they check under the lady's fingernails for DNA first, and often, they were choked which doesn't necessarily leave obvious marks. 

 

Also, did you not notice the beer already in his hand despite it being early morning? 

 

Or ask yourselves why she called HIS mother during the altercation if she had physically attacked HIM first? 

Why did she call - to let his mom know she was attacking him? I don't think so. 

And you're taking the word of his mommy over her, without asking yourselves that question? 

 

Even if you ignore all that - the cops are going to take her to jail for leaving a mark on him, fine, whatever. 

But THEN the police said they were going to tack on a charge of "cruelty to children" for her for having witnessed it - though the children said they didn't see it, just heard it, and said they both were fighting?!? 

 

Whaaa!? 

My husband watched this with me and it was his mouth that dropped open. 

Mine didn't - because we women have seen this before, many times, in fact. It's why women don't report it. fearing attitudes like this. 

 

Don't get me wrong, women commit DV violence, too, like Frankie Taylor Paul - but this was NOT that situation. 

And I'm not saying she's a victim - I don't think either of them were victims. 

 

For the record, that's what I personally believe - they likely put their hands on each other, and being that he's stronger, she used her nails to get him off. 

And had they just removed him from the home like she asked, because it's in her name, and separated them to calm down, that would've been the best course, and if it happened again, well, then someone goes to jail - maybe both of them. 

This was so biased against women, ignoring the actual evidence based on he said/she said and nothing more that it was sickening - so I'm sorry, making sure I never watch your videos again :(

For the record, I didn't perceive her as "aggressive" OR "telling the cops what to do" - and believe me, I've seen verbally aggressive women, both in real life and on these videos.

She wasn't yelling, but she was clearly upset, talking a mile a minute, rattling off possible witnesses they could talk to - maybe a bit snarky about it, already sensing their disbelief the moment they arrived herself, and the evidence of that is she ended that speech with "That's okay, I know the truth and so does God, and that's enough for me."

And he interrupted the cops too - they both did, while upset, adrenaline pumping -  but guess that didn't matter, a woman never should? 

The kids said they didn't even see it, just heard it - but you're taking just her to jail for "child cruelty?" because it "happened in front of them" - why?" 

I hope the judge laughs in their faces for the lack of evidence -  and the body cam actually helps her more than it does him.

But in fact, nobody had to go to jail here, and the only evidence was the scratches on his neck, which again, are defensive wounds. 

Because she called the cops to help remove him from the home because she'd asked him to leave and he wouldn't, and only her name is on the house - so why didn't they just do that?

Another clue this was biased against women was the cop who talked to the kids, asking one of them what they got for their birthday. After telling them his was 2 days ago, he said "You know what I got from my family? Nothing."

Clearly, he's not happy with his own wife and life. 

Dude - if your own wife and kids aren't giving you birthday gifts,  unless they're ALL selfish people overall, then might be time to look at what's wrong with YOU instead of self-pity to the degree that you're inappropriately seeking sympathy from a 7-year-old child in  a potential DV situation?

These particular cops were either that dumb or that intentionally blind - which is it?

My money is in the latter. Or both.

Jake, the AI Chatbot

 

So I'm doing an assignment for a class, building a Data Dictionary, looking at different sites about how best to do that.

I stumbled across this guy - Jake the AI chatbot.

 

"Sure, Jake, I have a question, -  you AI creeper, blinking at me very unnaturally, smiling and nodding your head, though I haven't said anything yet -  why are you taking over my job despite not nearly being ready to do so yet, and do you also plan on destroying humanity someday? 😂

Of course, I didn't put that in the chat box, but I'd like to. However, I'm afraid of what Jake would say!

Just an FYI, both my apartment complex and my dentist have tried AI for phone calls. They've both trashed them because they never send messages to staff or they can't answer your questions.

Ah, that makes me feel better!

They're not ready - sorry all you AI supporters.

I will say I think they're a great tool for humans to use - and that's all they are and should be - a tool.

NCAA Giant Killer Day, Yesterday?

 

And yet no one told us, we weren't prepared. Of course, I didn't expect Kentucky to do well, but that was just embarrassing, it looked like a high school game! I had to look away!

Matter of fact, I'm not even putting up a picture here of it, it was a disaster!

Well, there's a $22 million-dollar roster down the drain - they may be superstars, but if they can't play together, it's worthless.

People texting us like "Bring Pitino back! Bring Pitino back!" 😂

Hate to tell you all this, but Pitino's probably not coming back, he's doing too well at St. John's, beating the legacy powerhouse that is Kansas to make it in the Sweet Sixteen. (Good, I dislike Kansas almost as much as I dislike Duke 😂) 

Pitino taking those extra timeouts at the end, right before the winning shot, for a trick/confusion setup to throw them off - genius, right? That's why Pitino is the master!

That was a GREAT game, fun to watch!

Meanwhile, back at the Kentucky ranch, they're calling for Coach Pope's head on a platter. They take basketball very seriously here. 

Should I remind them that if Pitino had one bad game, back in the day, they called for his head, too? Nah. 

But Coach Pope truly is no Pitino. And what's also clear is there's no love between Pope and the players, either, they clearly aren't fond of him, and that's important. I don't know if we've ever had a team where the team doesn't like the coach.

Players almost always love Pitino, wherever he goes.

And what about Iowa beating another legacy, Florida, what the heck?

(And though I was rooting for Florida - 2 of my bros-in-law went there - that was another fun game to watch.)

Well, that's why they call it March Madness, anything can happen.

Other than that, the only team of people I know that got in the Sweet 16 is my husband's beloved MSU, who will play UConn.

Duke got in, of course. Grrr. 

I can't find the commercial online yet, but a commercial aired here for the UK Federal Credit Union,  where the girl is like "Banking, for ALL y'all" which is Kentucky thing - but at the end, in print, it says "Banking for All Y'all" but written as a red parenthetical, it says "(Except Christian Laettner)!"

 😂 😂 😂

I laughed for like 10 minutes!

For those who don't know, this refers to the infamous Duke-Kentucky 1992 tournament game, where Laettner threw a sort of Hail Mary shot from nearly half court at the buzzer during overtime - and made it - keeping us out of the Elite 8 - which is always on the Top 10 sports moments of all time lists ...

BTW, I was a student at UK at that time, waiting tables.

Christian Laettner still owes me about $300 for tips lost while waiting tables during the game. 😂

People forgot/didn't tip, were literally crying in their beers. I think I made about $20, though people brought big groups and camped out at their tables for hours and ran up huge tabs of nearly $800 bucks in some cases.

Okay, I get it - but it wasn't MY fault!  😂

Matter of fact, I'm charging interest. I'm calling my financial-wiz bro-in-law to tell me what to charge Laettner now with interest! 😉 😂

Wait, never mind, he's probably still mad about the Florida loss!

Otherwise, to the women's tourney ...

Is this good coaching, tough love, or something else?

She's saying "Because I believe in you, but you have to want it!"

I don't know, but if I was Oluchi Okananwa, I'd be like "Okay,  thank you, Coach, but get up out ma face, you're spitting on me," at the very least! 😂

Just an FYI - Puerto Rico

The other day, something reminded me of former blog friends, so  during my Spring Break, I've been briefly making the rounds of the former Blogosphere lately, just curious to see where former Bloggers are now - in some cases, it's been years since I've visited.

I didn't comment anywhere, and I note that many are gone/abandoned their blogs - but I did take note that someone - on the opposite side of politics of me - is still very active and had shared that Tulsi Gabbard had confirmed voting machines were seized in Puerto Rico.

This story itself is true - not the Pro-Trump conspiracy - see below for proof. 

I didn't comment, but because I know this UK Blogger still reads here, I need to clarify something that he apparently does not know or understand (or does not care) about our actual relationship with the U.S. Territory of Puerto Rico.

He's not alone - many people even in our own country do not know, understand, or care what our actual relationship is with Puerto Rico.

However, the below are facts - verified by two of my very good friends, who moved here from Puerto Rico in 2017 after Hurricane Maria - but you are welcome to verify them yourselves.

As a U.S. Territory but not an official state, Puerto Rican residents living on the island of Puerto Rico cannot vote for the President of the United States  - the office of POTUS isn't even on their ballots.

However, Puerto Ricans can vote for POTUS if they move to the mainland United States - where they are automatic U.S citizens, by the way.

Thus, residents living on the island of Puerto Rico can only vote for their local politicians, which include a governor (like U.S. States), as well as a single U.S. Representative in Congress with restricted voting rights - but they have no representation at all in the U.S. Senate - again, because they are not officially a U.S. state.

Lastly, the current Governor of Puerto Rico is right wing and a Trump ally.

So if there is voter fraud going on in Puerto Rico, to whose benefit?

And since the office of POTUS isn't even on their ballots -  and the governor is a Trump ally -  why does Trump care about voting machines in Puerto Rico?

UNLESS - the actual goal of seizing voting machines isn't to prevent fraud, but ensure it?

Regardless, this is why you shouldn't regurgitate or even share online pundit publications in blind faith based on politics or politicians, without educating yourself or even understanding the nuances of the government of another country or countries first.

Not that this person has ever been concerned with fact or truth rather than propaganda -  but to spare his own embarrassment, if nothing else.

DOJ Moves to Dismiss Charges In Breonna Taylor Killing ...

 

... we stayed in Louisville for a weekend last May. Though the city has largely erased what happened, you can still see a few little artistic signs for Breonna everywhere.

Trump's DOJ has just filed a motion to dismiss the remaining charges against the officers that killed Breonna (and likely also overturn the charges that already resulted in convictions).

For those who don't know the story - though it made national news and sparked national protests - on March 13, 2020, LMPD obtained a "no knock" search warrant under false pretenses, entered Breonna's apartment looking for her ex-boyfriend, and then for what reason we don't know, shot recklessly at her current boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, and then Breonna, as she lay in her bed, killing her instantly. 

The bullets also entered neighboring apartments through the walls. 

Both Walker and Taylor were unarmed. 

Though Kenneth Walker had a gun in his possession, he did not draw it, nor did he even have it on his person or near him.

How do I know that last part?

Though that part is still being debated publicly, as the officers have given conflicting accounts as to whether he was or wasn't - my former neighbor is first cousins with Kenneth Walker.

Kenneth stated that although he did have a gun in the apartment, he didn't have time to get it -  they had been in bed asleep when the officers charged in without knocking -  a story supported by the fact that Breonna was found dead while lying in bed.

Breonna was an EMT for the city and had broken up with her ex that they were looking for, due to his drug-dealing activities and possible DV, several months prior.

Her current boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, survived the incident.

The officers were charged with felonies including excessive force, reckless endangerment and originally manslaughter, but the charges were later reduced to misdemeanors. They were convicted for 2 of the crimes with prison time by the last DOJ under Merrick Garland, with the remaining charges of unlawfully obtaining a search warrant under false pretenses still being prosecuted.

It is these last charges the DOJ wants removed, and likely, erasing the other charges as if they never happened, freeing the incarcerated officers. 

These officers had the wrong information, obtained a "no-knock" search warrant under consciously false pretenses, and shot 2 unarmed people, one while she lay in her bed - they deserve the consequences for doing so.

The DOJ says they are doing so "in the interest of justice," but it's exactly the opposite - it's undoing justice over political corruption.

Worse, it's racism - because you know very well if this had happened to white people, we wouldn't be here.

It's especially heinous to pull this stunt on the 6th anniversary of her death to pull this stunt, adding insult to injury to the family. And extra slap in their faces.

Trump and the DOJ should be ashamed - but then they've already proven they have no shame.

"There is God ... And Then There Are the Peaky Blinders"

 So the movie, "Peaky Blinders:The Immortal Man" dropped on Netflix today!

Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 92%, so we shall see.

Just looking at the trailer and watching the first few minutes, this should be interesting.

If you don't know the history, after returning from World War I a war hero, Tommy Shelby found himself unhireable due to a combination of war shock (PTSD) and his Irish and Roma heritage being looked down upon in Birmingham, England.

Feeling his country abandoned him despite his service, he rounded up others like him and created an organized crime syndicate which included all the poor and disenfranchised of whatever race, Robin Hooding it to take care of his own family and other poor and powerless groups. 

But don't get the idea he was a saint, far from it - he did some horrible things to survive and gain wealth - he was a bad, bad dude.

But at the same time, there were certain things he'd still never do, lines he'd never cross - but his son will.

He ran drugs, he resorted to violence and even terrorism to get what he wanted - but he also provided for the town, as well as even provided justice against the wealthy and powerful exploiting and abusing the poor. 

When we last saw Tommy, he was retreating from thug life off the grid, after not only his daughter and brother's death due to his decisions/criminal activities, but the general cost of thug life on his conscience and those he loved - but growing fascist sentiment even within his own country. 

He realized that Nazism was an even greater evil than himself that was growing too big - one that he refused to work with, but also realized he and the Peaky Blinders weren't powerful enough to fight against.

Now, apparently, his son - whom he apparently abandoned to live life as a recluse -  took over the Peaky Blinders.

Never having been a soldier - nor understanding that the initial origin of the Peaky Blinders upon which his father built his empire was initially based on simply trying to survive in a society that even his war medal was ineffective at changing attitudes towards people of his heritage and class - his son, Duke, doesn't understand honor or loyalty.

There is no moral line his son, Duke, won't cross - he is simply a selfish, ruthless bully.

He steals from his neighbors, local businesses hanging by a thread and in tatters during the war, morphine from hospitals, gives nothing to charity, and is even willing to betray his country to the Nazis for his own personal gain.

Thus, Tommy has to return once more to prevent this from happening and to explain the difference to his son, after failing to do so before - IF if he will listen. 

Because although Tommy's done a lot of horrible things, he has certain things he can't abide by people - preying on the poor and powerless, especially children - OR betrayal of his country to Nazis, even though they turned their backs on him.

He's an interesting, complex character, Tommy Shelby - played by Oscar winner, Cillian Murphy.

And still, as good as this likely is, I still miss Aunt Polly (played by the late, great Helen McCrory.)

An unforgettable scene with Polly in it ...

She has a chance to exact her revenge for the church taking her children from her after her husband died.

Back then in the UK - and especially in Ireland - the Catholic church could take your children, sanctioned by government, just because you were a single mother living in poverty and thus deemed "unfit " - despite being widowed, and  despite no abuse or drinking or drug usage.

(Of course, the criminal activities of her Roma family and the emerging Peaky Blinders didn't help her case with the church with her children.)

As for Polly herself, she had been on the fringes of the Peaky Blinders, refusing to condone their activities, and thus was left struggling - but after this happened to her, she turned full on Peaky Blinder herself to survive.

In this scene, both she and Tommy hear from credible witnesses that a nun at an orphanage - which they largely financially support - physically abuses the children, one black child in particular even worse then the others - who killed herself rather than face one more day with her -  and they have come to put a stop to it. 

GREAT scene, great acting, great soundtrack - IMO, when Netflix acquired this show is what put Netflix on the map as far as the capacity for quality programming.

NYT and Dolores Huerta Bombshells About Cesar Chavez

 

Yeah, that picture ... not so much.

All right ... so ... we have an opportunity here, as liberals, to do things differently than MAGA, when it's one of our own, and take the high road.

Rather than trying do what MAGA does - try to distract from it, spin it, cover it up, lie about it, pretend and move on as if it didn't happen, or especially blame/vilify the victims - otherwise continue to enable and/or hide truth about power abuse and/or pedophiles in power -  we need to do the right thing instead - acknowledge it, admit that the evidence is overwhelming and likely truth, and talk about it -  and more importantly, DO something about it!

For those who don't know, the NYT dropped a bombshell article after a year's long investigation and finding ample credible evidence that labor and civil rights icon, Cesar Chavez, groomed and sexually assaulted young girls for years.

(Bravo, NYT, for doing this investigation on one of our own, despite being a "liberal" news organization.)

In fact, this bombshell was followed shortly thereafter by cofounder and leader of the UFWA (United Farm Worker's Association), Dolores Huerta, who dropped a bombshell of her own just after the NYT exposed it.

She says he sexual assalted her, too, and fathered 2 of her children and abused her, as a young woman.

She says she stayed silent because she convinced herself the movement itself was bigger than herself and it was a small price to pay for the movement  - and because she was afraid of what would happen to her if she told - but it sickens her now that there were so many more.  (See below excerpt).

Now - if she is telling the truth - that she was forced/coerced rather than a consensual relationship - then we have a huge problem.

In fact, we have this problem regardless.

What are we going to do about power abuse in our society, Ladies and Gentleman?

It's actually worse than it was years ago instead of better!

Now - when I say this next part, understand that I'm not blaming any one religion or denomination - but Cesar Chavez combined civil rights with his Catholic beliefs - and unfortunately, as we all know, religion can become a manipulation and control weapon very easily.

Dolores Huerta's statement: 

“I am nearly 96 years old, and for the last 60 years have kept a secret because I believed that exposing the truth would hurt the farmworker movement I have spent my entire life fighting for. 

I have encouraged people to always use their voice. Following the New York Times’ multi-year investigation into sexual misconduct by Cesar Chavez, I can no longer stay silent and must share my own experiences. 

As a young mother in the 1960s, I experienced two separate sexual encounters with Cesar. The first time I was manipulated and pressured into having sex with him, and I didn’t feel I could say no because he was someone that I admired, my boss and the leader of the movement I had already devoted years of my life to. The second time I was forced, against my will, and in an environment where I felt trapped. 

I had experienced abuse and sexual violence before, and I convinced myself these were incidents that I had to endure alone and in secret. Both sexual encounters with Cesar led to pregnancies. I chose to keep my pregnancies secret and, after the children were born, I arranged for them to be raised by other families that could give them stable lives.  

Over the years, I have been fortunate to develop a deep relationship with these children, who are now close to my other children, their siblings. But even then, no one knew the full truth about how they were conceived until just a few weeks ago. 

I carried this secret for as long as I did because building the movement and securing farmworker rights was my life’s work. The formation of a union was the only vehicle to accomplish and secure those rights and I wasn’t going to let Cesar or anyone else get in the way. I channeled everything I had into advocating on behalf of millions of farmworkers and others who were suffering and deserved equal rights.  

I have never identified myself as a victim, but I now understand that I am a survivor — of violence, of sexual abuse, of domineering men who saw me, and other women, as property, or things to control. 

I am telling my story because the New York Times has indicated that I was not the only one — there were others. Women are coming forward, sharing that they were sexually abused and assaulted by Cesar when they were girls and teenagers.  

The knowledge that he hurt young girls sickens me. My heart aches for everyone who suffered alone and in silence for years. There are no words strong enough to condemn those deplorable actions that he did. Cesar’s actions do not reflect the values of our community and our movement. 

The farmworker movement has always been bigger and far more important than any one individual. Cesar’s actions do not diminish the permanent improvements achieved for farmworkers with the help of thousands of people. We must continue to engage and support our community, which needs advocacy and activism now more than ever. 

I will continue my commitments to workers, as well as my commitment to women’s rights, to make sure we have a voice and that our communities are treated with dignity and given the equity that they have so long been denied. 

I have kept this secret long enough. My silence ends here.”

Now - you could look at this as hypocrisy. 

Because even Dolores Huerta - who encouraged people to use their voices, especially women - failed to do so until too late. 

Maybe -  but that's assuming not telling anyone was intentional cover up out of lack of integrity, rather than fear -  or as she said, convincing herself that her personal suffering was a small price to pay for the overall cause.

If she is telling the truth - that she was coerced/assaulted into this, rather consensual and making excuses - then hypocrisy should fall on the leader victimizing others -  not their victims. 

Or you could also look at it that even in marginalized groups who protest power abuse and exploitation publicly, are a different story   privately and/or enable it.

As an aside, I learned that lesson about not having blind faith in anyone very quickly at 20 years old. My first long-term therapist was married to the head of the Democratic Party of Kentucky at that time.

(For the record, I'm still a Democrat because I believe in the overall platform, despite what "bad apples" do  - there are bad apples in every group.)

In fact, his last name shines very brightly on a building in downtown  Lexington as part of the law firm he helped build, with a branch in Louisville now, too. 

(And no, if you're trying to guess who it is, it's NOT Frost, Brown, and Todd, the best in the state - but this firm IS #2 in the state.)

One day, just before they divorced, she told me that she couldn't take one more minute of his racism. 

(Well, she failed to mention that he was also having a not-so-illicit affair, too, but made it about his racism, though apparently that wasn't a problem for 30 years before?)

I said, "But he's a Democrat, he votes against racism."

She said "Ha! Oh, to be so young, idealistic, and naive. Yeah, but he'll do whatever it takes to get votes, stay in power and make money, just like Republicans. You've gotta learn  that what people say publicly isn't always who they are privately. He's as racist as they come privately. In fact, he's got narcissistic traits and I have borderline traits,classic toxic matchup, our marriage therapist diagnosed, a match made in hell"

Um ... yikes?

Great, John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe's infamously toxic relationship is running our state Democratic Party and my therapy!?!  😂

The inmates are running this asylum?

How is this much different than what I just left?

It took me a couple of more years to process that, though, just like it was taking me time to realize what I'd been told in my extremely dysfunctional family and believed was not based in reality, from either parent, despite what they looked like to others on the outside. In fact, I saw her for 5 years total.

She meant well, and she did care somewhat - but she obviously also wasn't a very good therapist. 

Because with the realization that most of what I'd been told/believed for a long time from both parents, I felt damaged and not normal, I  was now lost as what normal was and didn't know how to recognize it, and was developing social anxiety as a result. 

But instead of doing therapy and helping me process or heal, she basically decided instead to just teach and train me on how to be "normal" from her perspective - turn me into a little her.  

This included not only how I spoke, what I spoke about, what to say, what not to say, the inflection you should use when saying it - but literally criticizing my artsy clothes, despite being in college and that is the time to get all the artsy stuff out before you have to go professional. 

She wore preppy Talbots preppy every day of her life, let's put it that way, and kept trying to get me to shop there instead.  😂

I remember one particular day, I wore an oversized double-breasted gray and white jacket with a black turtleneck and a black mini skirt with large muted gold amulet of a Caribbean sun, big gold hoop earrings, and leggings with laces trim at the ankles, all of which I'd bought from near-campus stores like Natasha's and Deja Vu/World's Apart. 

It was the early 90s, I was an artsy college student in social work, determined to change the world, what can I say?

Well, you would've thought I farted at a funeral - and I'm using that crass phrase because I know she'd be absolutely horrified by it, and that makes me laugh! 😂

But the stuff that came my way - particularly over the lace-ankled black leggings.  It wasn't inappropriate, I was fully covered head to toe, not even really sexy, just artsy.

She was scolding me about not looking professional, but at the same time, I could tell she actually kind of thought they were pretty, like she was conflicted, it was weird.

THEN she told me that I needed to stop all the creative stuff in my life - singing, writing, acting, design, crafts - because that was my problem, my "expression" was preventing me from being "normal" - and that in fact, all of this "expression" was "making me increasingly emotional."

Yeah, I'm SURE that was it - - the root of my entire problem then was that I need to stop doing the the only things that actually feel cathartic and liberating, distract me from my toxic family, and make me feel the most normal - writing, designing, singing, and acting, duh!

Certainly NOT the fact that I survived multiple childhood traumas and was gaslighted about it, just now realizing the full extent of it and in shock, and that actually, neither parent could be trusted?

Nor could it possibly be that I have genetic predisposition to anxiety and depression by adolescence/young adulthood, but am not receiving any actual medical treatment for it?? 

No siree! She has a master's degree and credential letters behind her name and her husband was the head of the Democratic Party of Kentucky, I'm just a nobody, just now starting college for Social Work, who am I to argue?

*sarcasm*

Yeah, well, I should have argued, but I didn't.

Also, the day she didn't show up for our last appointment due to emergency and her secretary - normally very stoic and professional - told me I'd been coming there long enough, she didn't mind telling me he'd had an affair - my therapist had gone home for lunch and caught them in her bed.

Her secretary also added this as to why she told me this information, when she normally didn't say much at all: 

"You see, Honey? Nobody's perfect, nobody's normal. Yeah, you were dealt an especially shitty hand, but don't assume everyone else is better. And I'm gonna say something I should've said to you a long time ago and I'm saying it now because I've been wanting to say it for a long time and now's the perfect time ..." 

"Don't automatically assume that people with big important jobs and reputations, lots of money, or credentials behind their name are smarter, saner, or any more normal than you -  they're just better at hiding it." 

 

"I type your session notes, I type everybody's session notes - and let me say this - you're not as messed up as you think you are or have been led to believe. There's WAY worse from people you'd never suspect."  

"And there is nothing wrong with being creative, embrace it. Do it while you're young, when you can. There's being practical and then there's quashing who really you are to please others -  find that balance to do both, make a living but also create. 

"I think your social anxiety is getting worse because she's trying to train you to be someone you're not, it doesn't feel authentic, it's manufactured. This isn't Southern Belle charm school, it's supposed to be therapy!" 

"Just be yourself. Sometimes you'll say something wrong or dumb, oh well, we all do, but as long as you don't mean any harm, it's okay. You'll learn."

 

"She knows that too and should tell you that, but she can't, because she was once an artist, did you know that? All those unsigned watercolors in the hallway? They're hers from years ago."

"She's from a wealthy family who wanted her to be practical and marry well and make THEM look good - so she quashed it all to marry a famous lawyer and politician and she's trying to train you like she did herself, even though she resents it like hell." 

 

"And she just became a social worker about a year before you started seeing her for something to do out of boredom." 

"That's also why her son ran off to Arizona and why they're estranged, he's an artsy type, too, but I suspect he'll be forced to go into law like his dad (which he eventually did - he's runs the famous firm after his dead's death.)

"So when she's hard on you, just realize it's not really about you, it's about herself."

 

"Shh, don't tell her I said that and I only said that because of this situation, but I've been waiting to say it for a long time because I think that's what you really need to hear. Do you need to sort out stuff more? Sure - but we all do." 

"She won't fire me anyway, I've been with her too long. I was was with her before she finished school, during Comp Care when you started seeing her, and now in private practice. I know where all the bodies are buried on both of them lol. 

But I don't want to incur their wrath for exposing truth, either. They are both powerful people in this town, in fact, this state. I'll never mention this again, but remember it, okay? You're gonna be okay."

I never did tell my therapist or anyone what she said, in fact, until now.  But I wish I'd listened to her that day, instead of taking me years to figure that out.

Because that was, quite possibly, the best therapy I'd ever received, to that point - from my therapist's secretary! 😂

That took years to process though - to not automatically assume all educated therapists are good ones, especially in the South due to ingrained culture -  and you should shop around, not just take what's available.

Not drop them because they confront you, no -  that's an important part of therapy - but because it's not a good fit or they're even more bat-shit crazy than you ever thought of being! 😂

I think it took me awhile because I was still hashing out the truth and reality of my own dysfunctional family and its enablers/deniers.

And I did see that therapist once more a year later, after the birth of my daughter, and that gap in between made me realize the truth in her secretary's words - and that I'd grown past her -  and that she may have harmed more than she helped. 

She held my baby daughter, my daughter smiled immediately at her (as she did with everybody), and the Ice Queen melted, actually teared up - we both did. She said felt she felt like a grandma.

But it was also that day, when she said that, that I realized - I didn't feel that way about her. 

I was fond of her, sure - and though I did learn a few things, I didn't feel like she was my surrogate mom or family, as she apparently felt about me (but never showed until that day) - I felt she was like my family doctor?

And I realized she wasn't actually teaching or helping me heal or process anything at all, and despite her intent, she may have actually harmed me more than helped me.

I never told her this, I just stopped going.

But in fact, I still haven't gotten the creative writing back as I once did, I buried it so deep, thinking that was my problem - but that's part of what this blog is about, continuing to find that buried part of me 🙂

All of this to say - I did eventually process all of that and learned that lesson after that experience, that you can't and shouldn't automatically give your blind faith to anyone - especially politicians whom you do not know personally. .

Also, if you were unlucky enough to come a toxic cesspool of family dysfunction, don't automatically assume that everyone else you meet is smarter, saner, healthier, more "normal" or "better" than you, even if they have credentials behind their name.

And after therapy elsewhere since, I have learned to embrace my weirdness - my creativity, my quirks and all - or at least I'm learning to again. 😊

But I digress - back to my actual point, public versus private attitudes - in fact, this is what happened in Communism in practice versus theory, isn't it?

It was supposed to be that no one owned more than anyone else, the people themselves owned everything, humans stayed connected to  and were valued for what they created rather than another cog in the industrial wheel, and their leaders distributed the wealth equally - no classes, no racial or religious favoritism - but that's not what happened in practice.

Instead, a little oligarchy of power-hungry, greedy people played dirty and took over, controlled everything everybody did, including personal freedoms, there were still preferred classes, religions, and races/heritage, and the oligarchy took more for themselves than they gave to the people, and then killed anyone who spoke up about it.

Why?

Because even though communism may sound great in theory, it can never happen in practice because we can never underestimate the power of of human greed/lust for power/need to control by at least one person in charge, if not more. 

And even if they don't start out that way, they will be tempted to become that way - absolute power corrupts absolutely, after all. (Not everyone, but more often than not.)

But back to Dolores Huerta, we can never underestimate the power of personal history despite their intention -  leftover messages from prior personal trauma speaking louder in her head than her own emerging voice.  

Throw in misinterpreted/twisted/perverted scriptures for selfish gain including attitudes about the role of women as a guilt trip, and boom, there you go.

So I ask us again, what are we going to do about this?

We can neither automatically dismiss or believe people making claims, that's true - some people do claim things to extort those in power.

However, that's not the majority - and it also shouldn't take several people coming forward to  have accusations like this finally be taken seriously, either.

If someone speaks up at all, then it should be investigated correctly the first time, and it wouldn't happen again! 

(Although granted, there isn't always proof of a sexual encounter, especially if there's shame and fear of speaking up for a while first.)

Also, once again - just because it didn't happen to you personally or it wasn't your experience with a person doesn't mean it didn't happen or they're not capable.

Power abusers and predators are very selective - they quickly assess the socioeconomic status, power, wealth, and most importantly, the amount of social support of their victims first.  

Thus, they already know very well who will be believed between the 2 of them before they strike.

Regardless, I am so sorry to and for those girls and for Dolores Huerta.

And, I might add, what Chavez did to her should not tarnish her legacy by default - if she's telling the truth that she was coerced/assault, too - then if anything, it proves she was the true leader of the UFW, willing to suffer and make personal sacrifices for the good of the cause - I'm just sorry she had to 🥲